whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize