Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
