so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
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So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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