You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Congratulations! We have a period
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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