Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
