ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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