the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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