Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Naked. naked and bneed help.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
