Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize