if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
