are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
