My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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