We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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