Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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