I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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