we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
