Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
