Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize