Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
A bitchslap is in order.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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