I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
