Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
