and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize