Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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