i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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