See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
