I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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