This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
