I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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