If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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