We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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