Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
