I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
