I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
