the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
