I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
