Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Randomize
