The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
