which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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