Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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