Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
