some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
