Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
