Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
