gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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