the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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