whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
