maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm getting married
To pizza
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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