Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
