today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
