the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize