I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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