My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
