They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
