I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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