after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
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I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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