You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
