There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
where are my eyebrows?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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