My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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