Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
