She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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