she woke up with a sticky ear
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
