Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
