You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
