Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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