No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
His nipple licking is glorious
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