My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
