When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize