I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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