I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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