smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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