Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
