you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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