I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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